You Might Be in Perimenopause If… (A List That’s a Little Too Relatable)

You ever feel like your body is punking you?

One day you’re crushing it in midlife — balancing all the things, keeping your cool — and the next you’re crying in the school pickup line, sweating through your favorite bra, and rage-cleaning because someone chewed too loud.

Welcome to perimenopause: the weirdest club you never asked to join.

This list? It’s part therapy, part truth bomb, part solidarity. We made it to make you laugh — and remind you that you’re not losing your mind. You’re just hormonal. And you're definitely not alone.

You might be in perimenopause if...

• You keep the bedroom at meat locker temps and still wake up drenched at 3AM.
• You walked into a room and forgot why you were there. Three times. In ten minutes.
• You’re suddenly rage-cleaning the fridge because your partner chewed too loud.
• You can’t decide if you’re cold, hot, or both — so you just layer like an indecisive onion.
• Your boobs feel like they got run over by a truck. But only for five days a month.
• You Google “can you still get pregnant in perimenopause” after a suspiciously late period.
• You cry at commercials, calendar reminders, or when you drop a grape on the floor.
• You’re bleeding like you got stabbed in the uterus… or not at all for three months. No in between.
• You’ve suddenly developed very strong opinions about magnesium.
• You own five types of lube and you’re not even a little ashamed.

Why This Matters

Perimenopause is unpredictable. It’s rarely talked about. And when it is, it’s usually in clinical language or terrifying Reddit threads. But this transition deserves better.

At Shebang, we’re rewriting the menopause story with humor, honesty, and hormone-friendly support that actually helps. We’re not doctors in lab coats. We’re midlife women living this with you, curating the tools, resources, and relief we wish we’d had from the start.

You’re not broken. You’re becoming. And we’re with you every sweaty, glorious step of the way.

Midlife Tools to Get You Through

✨ Take the Midlife Mindset Quiz — Find out your midlife survival style and get personalized support (plus product recs and resources).

📥 Download the Midlife SOS Survival Kit — 5 simple, soul-soothing tools to help you feel like yourself again.

🩺 Grab the Medical Advocacy Guide — Scripts, labs to request, and the info you need to advocate for your health with confidence.

Want More Midlife Support?

If you’re into hormone-friendly tips, soul-deep validation, and being the first to know when our next box drops—get on the list. It’s like a group chat with your smartest, sassiest midlife friends (plus exclusive perks and freebies).

Click here to join the Shebang mailing list — your inbox will thank you.

About Shebang

Shebang is a women-founded brand reshaping the menopause experience. We’re here to flip the script on midlife—less shame, more soul. Through curated subscription boxes, real talk education, and a community that actually gets it, we’re helping women reclaim their energy, power, and permission to pause.

We started Shebang because we were tired of feeling dismissed, overwhelmed, and alone in our own perimenopause journeys. So we created what we wished we had: a lifeline disguised as a care package.

Whether you’re in the thick of hot flashes, ragey mornings, or existential unraveling, we’ve got you. Welcome to the club you didn’t ask to join—but won’t want to leave.

• 💬 Join the convo on Instagram
• 💛 Find your people in our private Facebook group
• 📬 Get symptom support + midlife mindset inspo in your inbox — subscribe here
• 📦 Check out the Shebang Box waitlist (your permission slip in a box)

Because midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a catalyst. 💥