Dear Younger Me: What I Wish I Knew About Perimenopause

 

If we could go back in time, wrap our younger selves in a blanket, hand them a warm mug (or let’s be honest maybe a glass of Pinot), and whisper one truth?

It would be this:

You’re not broken. You’re changing.

And that change? It’s going to wake you up in ways you never imagined.

No One Told Us It Would Feel Like This

Perimenopause isn’t just about hot flashes or skipped periods. It’s about standing in the mirror and wondering, Where the hell did I go? Not just your looks, your spark. Your fire. Your bandwidth for BS.

It’s crying over a dropped grape.
It’s forgetting the word for “pan” mid-sentence.
It’s feeling like a stranger in your own skin.

And the worst part? It doesn’t come with a user manual. No one prepped us for this shift. So when it hit, it didn’t feel like a transition. It felt like something was wrong with us.

The Wake-Up Call We Didn’t See Coming

For many of us, it wasn’t until a friend casually asked, “Have you had your hormones checked?” that something clicked.

Wait. What if this wasn’t just stress? Or aging? Or being “too sensitive”?

What if it was hormones? What if we weren’t crazy and we were in perimenopause?

When It All Fell Apart, We Found Ourselves

Here’s the plot twist no one tells you:

The unraveling? It clears space.
The exhaustion? It forces reflection.
The breakdown? It becomes a breakthrough.

That season of WTF became the season of coming home.

We started reevaluating everything. What we ate, who we gave our time to, what we tolerated. We stopped saying “yes” to things that drained us. We started telling the truth. And somewhere in the mess, we began to rise.

Dear Younger Me…

Let me tell you what I wish someone had told us:

• It’s not all in your head. It’s in your hormones.
• Find a doctor who actually listens.
• Feed your body like it deserves love, not punishment.
• Move it. Sunlight helps. So does dancing.
• Laugh with people who get it. Cry when you need to.
• And if something (or someone) isn’t bringing peace, joy, or health? Let it go. Seriously.

Life is too short to carry what you were never meant to hold.

Menopause Isn’t Just for “Old Ladies”

Perimenopause can start in your 30s and 40s. And it’s not just physical... it’s emotional. Spiritual. Existential.

It’s not a sign of decline. It’s a rite of passage.

You’re not losing yourself. You’re meeting your real self.

Your Journey, Your Way

There’s no one-size-fits-all path through this. Some use HRT. Others swear by herbs and hot baths. Some need a therapist. Others just need an afternoon alone in Target.

There’s no wrong way as long as it feels like truth to you.

Don’t Suffer Silently

Whatever you do, don’t keep this to yourself.

Talk about it. With your friends. Your doctor. Your sister. Your daughter. This is how we normalize it, by naming it.

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And you’re not the only one crying over a grape.

We’re in this together. Sweaty, sleepy, and still somehow showing up.

Want more support like this?

We’ve created a free quiz to help you decode your perimenopause symptoms and reclaim your midlife mojo. It’s fast, it’s helpful, and it might just be the permission slip you didn’t know you needed.

Take the quiz here

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About Shebang

Shebang is a women-founded brand reshaping the menopause experience. We’re here to flip the script on midlife... less shame, more soul. Through curated subscription boxes, real talk education, and a community that actually gets it, we’re helping women reclaim their energy, power, and permission to pause.

We started Shebang because we were tired of feeling dismissed, overwhelmed, and alone in our own perimenopause journeys. So we created what we wished we had: a lifeline disguised as a care package.

Whether you’re in the thick of hot flashes, ragey mornings, or existential unraveling, we’ve got you. Welcome to the club you didn’t ask to join but won’t want to leave.

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Because midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a catalyst. 💥

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